Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Other Posts in this Section:

Building a Healthy Relationship
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

Stages of a Healthy Relationship

In every relationship we can observe certain stages. Just as there are definite signs of a healthy relationship there are also distinct detectable stages of a healthy relationship.

I will start with the most obvious one. When two people meet, they feel attracted to each other. At first they are tolerant of each other because they very much want to be together. Yet they may notice that there are things about their new partner that they do not like.

For example, she notices he burps a lot and does this everywhere. He sees her leaving her used tissues everywhere instead of throwing them into the wastepaper basket. I’m sure you can relate to this!

Now this stage is very important because all of the subsequent stages for a healthy relationship depend on it. Often this is the stage where we are so in love that we look into the world and at our partner through rose-coloured glasses. But when the rose tint fades, the world all of a sudden is not so beautiful any more. It has lost its softness and so the relationship also becomes harsher.

However, in a healthy relationship even this first stage is a realistic one in that both are aware of the magnetic pull between them yet they have their eyes wide open and see that there are things or habits in their loved one they might have to chew on!

The 2nd Stage of a Healthy Relationship

The 2nd stage of a healthy relationship is when the first problems come. And do realise they will come! Then both partners face the fact that there is a problem and that problems are there to be solved.

The problem can be of any kind; financial, sexual, the sharing of time, behaviour etc. Usually it is one partner feeling the problem as pressing. When the relationship is healthy, she/he will have no fear about bringing this up and will talk to their partner about it. The other will listen and have her/his say in this. Maybe tempers flare up a bit and a yell here and there gets uttered. No problem if afterwards the “guilty” partner apologizes genuinely or, when they see they are not getting anywhere, they decide to drop the issue and start with it again at some other point.

In a healthy relationship there is the awareness that a happy, perfect life without any problems is not possible. That every relationship goes through ups and downs, and that in different stages of the relationship there are different problems to master, for the different stages of the relationship depend a lot on the various stages of development each person goes through within their own character.

So one of the main Characteristics of a healthy relationship at this stage is that both partners acknowledge that problems are a part of a relationship and are willing to face and solve them together.

The 3rd Stage of a Healthy Relationship

In the 3rd stage of a healthy relationship the couple has been together for quite a while. This is the period in which boredom starts to emerge in many relationships.

In a healthy relationship both partners keep on working on staying interesting for each other. They express interest in each other and touch each other a lot so that Eros’ qualities stay alive and the sexual relationship does not slacken. By the way, Eros is the God of Erotic Love.

This is very important, as this is a crucial point where relationships often start to sink into oblivion, finally ending in separation or living alongside each other in familiar grooves of habit.

A healthy relationship is quite different. That is why at this stage, when one has been actively building the relationship from the beginning, one has created a positive habit as a foundation. One will be able to master this stage with brilliance and creativity. Why? Because building on their relationship to keep it healthy has become a way of life.