Getting Over a Relationship

Other Posts related:
Ending A Relationship
Signs a Relationship is Over

Getting over a relationship feels a bit like a mourning process. One has to put all one’s effort in just staying alive and it feels very strange that the rest of the world goes on as if nothing has happened. Letting go of a relationship is one of the most difficult tasks one has to set oneself once the relationship has come to an end.

To Get Over My Relationship Where Do I Start?

The first thing to do to get over a relationship is to focus on the self; on one’s own person.

To help with this you could, for example, start to make a list of all that you feel you are. You are not a half of a broken relationship; you are your own person!

From that list take a few points and start to fill out the details.

For example, a point on your list is “I am a very intelligent person”. Now in the detailed list you are going to add: “I have an interest in good books and films. I can tell stories about events that happen to me in a way that fascinates people”.

So from filling out this detail you realise: ‘I am even very entertaining’! So you can add that to your first list.

In this way you start to focus on your self, the good things you carry inside, and that these good things have been there all along, also while you were in your relationship.

Letting Go Of The Old Relationship

By doing this you will start to see that you are a worthy person, and that the fact this relationship had to end does not necessarily mean that you or your partner were a failure.

It is also a good idea to start to list all the things that you actually gained from your relationship; all the benefits you have now that you wouldn’t have had were it not for the relationship you now want to get over.

This is very important because it will make you see you have not wasted your time, you don’t have to start hating your ex-partner nor do you have to start blaming yourself. It makes it clear to you that there was/were obvious important reason(s) for this relationship to happen.

To Get Over My Relationship, What Do I Do With My Ex-Partner?

If you have followed my advice you will notice that you have not spent time yet thinking about your ex-partner. That is exactly the right behaviour in the early stages of getting over your relationship, as you are still very emotional and you will want to accuse, blame and reproach.

This negative approach will not help you because when you fall into this attitude, you will want to direct your negativity towards the person, which means that your relationship will turn into a fiend-ship and won’t become a friend-ship.

As there are quite a few things to deal with if one still needs to maintain contact with one’s ex-partner it is important that a friendly atmosphere remains, or, if it does not yet exist, gets created. In a hostile situation it is simply not possible to maintain contact while in a good atmosphere both partners will be open and communicative.
And, as a result, each of them will make a better start in their future life.

More postss that you may find helpful:
Signs a Relationship is Over
Building a Healthy Relationship
How to Save Your Relationship
Relationship Tips (right side of page)